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  1. #1
    Fighting Injustice on CBR SUPERECWFAN1's Avatar
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    Default The War on Christmas !

    Today I spoke with Kris Kringle himself , aka Santa Claus. We had some small talk since Santa stiffed me back in the 1980's on those classic WWF LJN wrestling figures I always wanted. I wanted all of those figures but was denied. DAMN YOU SANTA !




    Anyhow as I spoke with Santa , he discussed the dark times of this war on Christmas. As he said , things look bleak. JCPenny and K-Mart/Sears is going down and sales are being lost nationwide. The Elves can't find cheap consumer toys and good for folks due to this situation. Now with those 2 chains down , Santa may have to reduce the number of Elves working to lower levels. Due to price increases there.

    Also with the new healthcare plan Trump has done with an Executive order , he may have to let older Elves go due to Insurance costs. This was bound to happen as Santa had hoped Trump would lower things insurance premium wise. Instead with this , he may lose experienced workers. Kids may end up getting coal now that never expected it.

    Finally the biggest worry is that the internet is crippling Santa's business. Usually he delivers toys and good 1 night a year. And now fucking Amazon is able to deliver within days , year round. People are demanding Santa step up his deliver schedule.


    All this worry has led Santa to neglect Mrs. Claus as well. As she usually has Santa spend year round getting down to business with her. As she told me the stress has gotten to Mr. Claus and even viagra isn't working well.


    [IMG]https://encrypted-tbn0.************/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSS73fVZZ0CT2MnXZnjyvUgY4qeSZBLY dDnjDGs52wVEXg4a2CEjQ[/IMG]


    So at the end of the day this War on Christmas is hurting the biggest holiday of the year. Its said Santa may contact the Easter Bunny to have him speak with Fox News to try and lean on conservatives to realize there is a war on Christmas and Santa needs their help ! Only you conservatives can help Santa this year. Do it for him !


    "The story so far: As usual, Ginger and I are engaged in our quest to find out what the hell is going on and save humanity from my nemesis, some bastard who is presumably responsible." - Sir Digby Chicken Caesar.

  2. #2
    Incredible Member Timothy Hunter's Avatar
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    Oh no...
    10char

  3. #3
    Astonishing Member batnbreakfast's Avatar
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    I really hate you for bringing up this topic so early, dude

  4. #4
    Astonishing Member Phoenixx9's Avatar
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    Sad news indeed....

  5. #5
    Old school comic book fan WestPhillyPunisher's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by batnbreakfast View Post
    I really hate you for bringing up this topic so early, dude
    Early? Pfft! I saw Christmas trees and decorations on display in a Macy's store at the King of Prussia Mall in mid September.
    Avatar: Here's to the late, great Steve Dillon. Best. Punisher. Artist. EVER!

  6. #6
    Astonishing Member Phoenixx9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WestPhillyPunisher View Post
    Early? Pfft! I saw Christmas trees and decorations on display in a Macy's store at the King of Prussia Mall in mid September.
    Yep. Christmas stuff has been out in stores since mid-late August and definitely by September 01.

    And I saw a a TV commercial for Christmas once in July, then in August. A few times in September.

  7. #7
    Swollen Member GOLGO 13's Avatar
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    I have a long standing "Christmas List" policy since the days I had girlfriends before getting married.

    I continue to stipulate (demand) that I be provided a list of things she wants/interested in having by creating a "List" using bookmarks linked to the website of said item. In return I will too will provide a highly detailed suitable ( crap I really want) list for my Xmas gifts.

    Then tuck the whole thing under a folder marked, "GOLGO 13'S 2017 CHRISTMAS EXTRAGANZA". The idea is that I never want to hear, "...I don't know what sort of things you want, so I got you this instead..."

    What sheer nonsense. I have no problem letting people know what I want for Christmas, so here is my list. Time to get cracking.

    Also, when family ask her what do I want for Xmas she can offer my suggestions down to size, color & flavor profile.

    I always win my, "War On Christmas". Every damn year.

  8. #8
    Ultimate Member MajorHoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenixx9 View Post
    Yep. Christmas stuff has been out in stores since mid-late August and definitely by September 01.

    And I saw a TV commercial for Christmas once in July, then in August. A few times in September.
    But some of that may be because stores don't have room to store all that stuff in their back rooms until, say, after Columbus Day.
    Plus, how long does it take some places to set up these displays if they wait and do them all at one time? It can be a damned if you do, damned if you don't battle.
    (And, actually, it seems to me that maybe ten-to-fifteen years ago they were displaying/selling a lot of Christmas stuff even earlier than they do these days!)

  9. #9
    Ultimate Member MajorHoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GOLGO 13 View Post
    I have a long standing "Christmas List" policy since the days I had girlfriends before getting married.

    I continue to stipulate (demand) that I be provided a list of things she wants/interested in having by creating a "List" using bookmarks linked to the website of said item. In return I will too will provide a highly detailed suitable ( crap I really want) list for my Xmas gifts.

    Then tuck the whole thing under a folder marked, "GOLGO 13'S 2017 CHRISTMAS EXTRAGANZA". The idea is that I never want to hear, "...I don't know what sort of things you want, so I got you this instead..."

    What sheer nonsense. I have no problem letting people know what I want for Christmas, so here is my list. Time to get cracking.

    Also, when family ask her what do I want for Xmas she can offer my suggestions down to size, color & flavor profile.

    I always win my, "War On Christmas". Every damn year.
    Might as well just give each other cash then. It would probably be just as meaningful.

  10. #10
    FF purist/snob CaptCleghorn's Avatar
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    If there is a war on Christmas, Christmas is winning.

  11. #11
    Astonishing Member batnbreakfast's Avatar
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    As long as there's no war on Halloween I'm fine

  12. #12
    Swollen Member GOLGO 13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MajorHoy View Post
    Might as well just give each other cash then. It would probably be just as meaningful.
    Not at all. Everyone likes to receive, open Holiday presents yes?

    Well, my way ensures that everyone gets something they really want, and don't we all want to give & receive the "perfect" gift? Of course we do.

    I think I'm 21-0 in my "WAR ON CHRISTMAS"

  13. #13
    Astonishing Member Phoenixx9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MajorHoy View Post
    But some of that may be because stores don't have room to store all that stuff in their back rooms until, say, after Columbus Day.
    Plus, how long does it take some places to set up these displays if they wait and do them all at one time? It can be a damned if you do, damned if you don't battle.
    (And, actually, it seems to me that maybe ten-to-fifteen years ago they were displaying/selling a lot of Christmas stuff even earlier than they do these days!)
    Oh, I know.

    But a few commercials were for companies that sold Christmas Trees or Christmas Products, so they would have room for all of their merchandise, especially since most orders don't come in till later.

    Many years my Christmas shopping is completed by Summer and wrapped by Labor Day.

    Personally, I really don't mind seeing the commercials so "early"!

    Also, I love "Christmas in July" too!
    Last edited by Phoenixx9; 10-24-2017 at 05:29 PM.

  14. #14
    Mad scientist Carabas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptCleghorn View Post
    If there is a war on Christmas, Christmas is winning.
    Time for reinforcements...

    "One may be intelligent, and a Nazi. Then one is not decent. One may be decent and a Nazi. Then one is not intelligent. And one may be intelligent and decent. Then one is not a Nazi"
    - Gerhard Bronner

  15. #15
    FF purist/snob CaptCleghorn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carabas View Post
    Time for reinforcements...

    Lobo's gone over to Christmas' side. Sorry.


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